illusionless's Diaryland Diary

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Blah

I've been dog sitting Nemo, Mom and Step-Dads dog, for a week now. It's an annual job while they go away on their trip of the year. Normally they go to England to visit Step-Dads mother, but she passed away last May. This year they have gone to Italy. I'm sure they are having a wonderful time.

Nemo and I have been enjoying ourselves. He's been loving the snuggles, treats, company, and especially the walks! I take him on 2 long walks a day. When I say long walks I mean 1-2 hour walks each, weather permitting. We have had some rainy days so I have had to take him for 1 short 15-20 minute walks during breaks in the rain.

I've been feeling depressed and blah the last couple days. Today has been the worst. If it wasn't for Nemo I would have not been able to get out of bed. I think he senses that I'm not at my best because this morning he woke me up by licking my nose and he hasn't done that in ages. I also wasn't sure if I would be able to take him for even 1 walk. I'm dragging my feet in my pajamas as he runs around crazy hyper and does some big jumps before running to the front door and barking for me to come over. He jumps at the door and then at me with his tail wagging to let me know he was really excited for his walk this morning. I couldn't refuse that adorable face so I brushed my hair, threw on some clothes, and we went for a short walk. He walked well, as usual. He's such a good boy! He hasn't left my side since.

I don't feel suicidal at all. It's more like 'What's the point in getting up? I'm such a useless piece of crap. It's sunny and beautiful but all I see is gray' Things like that. I hope I'm okay enough to honor my near future commitments like: gambling on the horses at Wegz with my grandparents tomorrow, seeing Dad on Sunday (probably) and visiting Angel-Scar on Tuesday. I might have to fake excitement tomorrow if I still can't feel much. It sucks because I love going out gambling and hanging with them.

Sorry for such a boring and useless entry.

2:46 p.m. - 2018-08-10

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